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Terms Of Use

Wow! You actually came to this page. Lawyers everywhere say you should include a Terms of Use page and use a precious button on the homepage to get visitors here. At first, I thought the lawyers were just being a real pain in the butt, but what a Netwakening! This is actually really important stuff. The legalese the lawyers would write has been translated into readable English. So be a smart Netgoer and read the stuff on this page. It could prevent you from hearing from me, or worse yet, from really nasty people, like prosecutors.

Here’s the deal:

I run this site so that people like you (and people you like) can use it for personal entertainment, information, education and communication. So go ahead and browse around all you like. You can even download stuff from the site but only for noncommercial, personal use. If you do, though, don’t fool around with the copyright and other notices all over the stuff. They’re there for a really good reason. And don't even think about distributing,
modifying, transmitting, reusing, re-posting, or anything else uncool with any of the stuff, including the text, images, audio, and video, for public or commercial purposes unless I give you written permission. And I probably won't.

If you visit this site, you’re also legally obligated to agree to the terms and conditions listed below and any other law or regulation that applies to the site, the Internet, the World Wide Web, or wherever you're located. You shouldn't access or browse the site if you have any problem with that, because once you start, there’s no turning back — you are bound by the terms. So here’s the scoop on my Top Eight Rules for those who hang out on this site:

1. For everyone’s sake, just assume that everything on this site is copyrighted unless I say it’s not. So you can’t use the stuff except how I say you can on this page or anywhere else on the site without my written permission. And like I said before, it’s not likely I’ll give you permission anyway.

2. While I try to include accurate stuff on the site, I'm not promising you it’s accurate. In fact, I'm not promising you anything except fun and entertainment, and I really don't promise that since a lot of people have no sense of humor. So if you use stuff on the site, you’re using it at your own risk. Don’t call me if there’s a problem because I assume no liability or responsibility for errors or omissions on the site.

3. I, and anybody else who helped me create, produce, or deliver the site, are not liable for any damages you suffer when you use it. This disclaimer includes "direct, incidental, consequential, indirect, or punitive damages arising out of your access to, or use of, the site. Without limiting the foregoing, everything on the site is provided to you ‘AS IS’ WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR NON INFRINGEMENT.
Please note that some jurisdictions may not allow the exclusion of implied warranties, so some of the above exclusions may not apply to you. Check your local laws for any restrictions or limitations regarding the exclusion of implied warranties. " Bottom line — I'm not responsible if you’re browsing around and the site damages you or your computer or infects it with any nasty viruses. I don't see why it would happen, and I sure hope that doesn’t happen, but if it does, don’t call me about it. Actually, please do inform me, but don't expect me to do anything other than try to track down why such a thing happened and repair it.

4. If you don’t want the world to know something, don’t post in on the Internet, this website, in any bulletin board or anyplace else. That’s because anything you disclose to me is mine. That’s right — mine! I could do anything I wanted with the stuff you post. I can reproduce it, disclose it, transmit it, publish it, broadcast it, and post it someplace else. Not only that, I can even use any ideas, concepts, know-how, or techniques you post any way I want to, including, developing, manufacturing and marketing products or other stuff using the information you post.

5. Pictures, videos, recordings and stories of people or places shown on this site are either my property or someone else’s property I'm using with the owner's permission. No matter what, it’s definitely not your property. You or any of your net-friends can’t use it unless I said you could on this page or somewhere else on the site. And guess what — I won’t say yes. So be careful, because unauthorized use may violate all sorts of nasty laws. Be smart, keep the stuff you download to yourself.

6. There may also be a lot of trademarks, logos, and service marks on the site that either I own or I'm using with someone else’s permission. So don’t think you have any kind of license or right to use them, because you don’t and I'm not about to give you one. If you don’t leave them alone and mess with my trademarks, logos and service marks on my site, I'll probably go ballistic, so will the companies that own the other trademarks, logos and service marks. That means that everyone is likely to sue you or to ask a prosecutor to come after you for messing around with the property of others.

7. You’ll probably notice I've linked my site to other sites. While that’s cool, it doesn't mean I've checked these sites out regularly to see what’s going on. So don’t blame me if some site you link to is bad or has stuff on it that offends you. Go ahead and link, but remember, you’re doing it at your risk.

8. That brings me to what you do on my site. While I occasionally check-in on the comments, I take no responsibility and assume no liability for the content found there, or for any mistakes, defamation, libel, slander, omissions, falsehoods, obscenity, pornography or profanity you might encounter when you visit such places on my site. And don’t be stupid by posting or transmitting any unlawful, threatening, libelous, defamatory, obscene, scandalous, inflammatory, pornographic, nasty or mean material or any material that law enforcement types may consider a criminal offense, get someone in court on a civil lawsuit, or for that matter violate any law — anywhere, anytime. While I certainly respect your privacy, I have no choice but to fully cooperate with any law enforcement authorities or court which might ask me who might have posted nasty stuff on my site.